We are asked to take an assessment to measure conflict styles for our week two discussion forum. According to our textbook, “conflict styles are patterned responses, or clusters of behavior, that people use in conflict” (Hocker et al., 2022, p. 150). “Style preferences develop over a person’s lifetime based on a complex blend of personal characteristics, life experiences, and family background (Hocker et al., 2022, p. 150). The assessment measured the five styles of avoiding, obliging, dominating, integrating, and compromising. We were then asked to answer the following questions.
What is your Conflict Style?
The conflict style I scored highest in was integrating. According to our textbook, “Integrating shows a high level of concern for one’s own goals, the goals of others, the successful solution of the problem, and the enhancement of the relationship” (Hocker et al., 2022, p. 174).
What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this style?
An advantage of having an integration style of conflict is it promotes collaboration, and integrating conflict style encourages open communication and cooperation between the parties involved. This can lead to creative problem-solving and better outcomes for everyone. This conflict style also helps maintain or even strengthen relationships between parties by promoting mutual understanding and respect for one another.
The disadvantages of integrating conflict style can be time-consuming as it involves actively listening to each other, brainstorming ideas, and arriving at a mutually beneficial solution. Another disadvantage is that reaching an integrated solution that satisfies everyone’s needs and interests may be challenging, especially when the conflict is complex or deeply rooted. Lastly, it requires compromise and the willingness to adjust one’s position, which can be difficult for some people.
What have been some of the dynamics you noticed when individuals and couples use avoidance in relationships?
Some of the dynamics I have seen when couples use avoidance in relationships are a lack of communication and growing resentment. For instance, avoiding conflict can lead to a lack of communication, as an individual may avoid discussing essential issues or expressing their true feelings to their partner. This can create distance and misunderstandings in the relationship. Also, when conflicts are not addressed, individuals may resent their partner for not addressing the issue.
How do you feel when someone uses this in his or her relationship with you?
If someone constantly avoided me in a relationship, I would feel rejected and unimportant. I would probably be wondering what I did wrong all the time or, even worse, maybe they do not care about me anymore. I would also feel anxious about the state of the relationship and worry whether we still had a future together. Other emotions I may possibly feel are frustration, confusion, and just generally hurt that my partner is constantly avoiding me.
What suggestion might you have for someone who primarily uses avoidance of conflict as a style?
I would suggest to someone who primarily uses avoidance as a conflict style to communicate openly and be honest about their feelings. It is essential to speak assertively when conflict arises. Expressing our thoughts and feelings clearly and directly without being aggressive or disrespectful is okay. Being mindful of our tone of voice and body language is also essential!
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